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Author Topic: Dealing with loneliness  (Read 195 times)

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Offline galaxy

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Dealing with loneliness
« on: May 02, 2015, 07:28:18 PM »
First of all, thank you for clicking on this. I don't like having days off of work when I don't plan on doing anything. I didn't leave the house today. I mean, I could've, but I chose not to (to conserve gas). Even if I did go out, I'd just return home and fall back into the same state that I was in before I went out. I wouldn't say it's depression. Maybe I'm just bored. My one friend (whom I consider my only friend) was out all day and I don't know... I didn't feel up to texting her. So I sort of just didn't talk to her. I don't have many friends in real life. I mean, I have a few that I say hi to and ask how they are but we don't actively hangout. And if we did, I think it'd be a train wreck. I try to be really outgoing but I think I'm just actually really shy... I have some friends on here but they're usually gone for the weekends at a time. So I don't know. I wish I could get started rooting some of my new Barbies and EAH. That would put my time to good use, I think... I  also wish had an ambition to actively pursue music. I would love to get into it, but I don't know the first thing about it. That would be another good thing to occupy my time. Anyway, thank you for reading this.

Offline dxgirly

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2015, 07:49:15 PM »
I deal with this a lot, too. I haven't "hung out" with anyone besides my immediate family in over a year, and my husband works overnights Sunday-Thursday, and then sleeps all day. It's actually one of the reasons I started vlogging... so I'd have someone to talk to, even if I am actually only talking to myself.

You can always message me if you're feeling lonely and can't find anyone else to talk to. I'm online and around 99% of the time, unless I'm sleeping or at an appointment. I'm not the best conversationalist, though.  :(

Anyways, I'm here if you need me. <3

Hey! I'm Nikki! <3 Check Out My Youtube Toy Channel, My BJD Channel and My Gaming Channel 

Offline HauntFun

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2015, 08:22:35 PM »
:hugs: Have been dealing with this a lot. I'm an extrovert and have been sick so I've stayed in. (Been really sick, too.) It makes me sad and depressed and lonely too. I do have a friend I talk to a lot online, so that makes things better for me.

:hugs: Just wanted to say,  I've been there too. And am somewhat currently there, especially in the mornings when my friend is not online. You can message me too, if you like. I will probably babble about sewing though...

Offline galaxy

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2015, 08:28:18 PM »
Thanks you two... I know by tomorrow this will be gone. Work gives me a purpose to do things, I think. Or it helps keep me busy, which is a good thing.

Offline Wuvmykitties

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2015, 09:12:06 PM »
I deal with loneliness at times too.  I used to go to visit my mom (& dad when he was alive) during summer vacations, but for the past few years haven't been able to go see them, due to my elderly mom being unable to bring me down (I don't have a car) because her truck is too old.  The last time I was there was for my dad's funeral last year.  So the past few vacations have been more like stay-cations, tho I wish they weren't. 

I also have to force myself to get up and DO things on weekends & vacations, since when I'm at work I often think "I'm going to get some of my doll projects done," or "I'm going to do some de-cluttering" and when the weekends or vacations come, I usually end up sitting & watching TV or going on the internet. 

For these reasons, I'm glad I did finally join a bowling league, since it gets me out of the house and having fun.  :)  Now if I could just get up the motivation to do some other things....
love & prayers, Lynda :)
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Offline Melissa

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2015, 10:09:06 PM »
I do somewhat understand how you feel. I *am* really outgoing and not shy at all but at the same time, I have a hard time with friendships. My husband is pretty much my rock and my main friend. Because I moved 1500 miles away from my friends/family to be with him, I pretty much had to start over socially and it has not been easy. I have acquaintances here, but I wouldn't really call them friends because we don't really hang out unless I initiate it. And I don't even mind doing that but it would be nice to occasionally have someone call ME and be like "Hey let's get lunch/go to a movie/run to Target" but that doesn't happen. Ever. Probably why I'm around here so much, hahaha!

My suggestion is find some kind of activity that gets you off the computer... Rehairing would be good like you mentioned, or even something as simple as reading, drawing, going for a walk... Those are the things that help me when I feel lonely. If I sit at the computer all day I tend to get more wallow-y.

Offline Wuvmykitties

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2015, 10:10:59 PM »
Oh Melissa, I know what you mean when you say you wish your friends would call or say "let's go out/get together."  It would be SO nice!
love & prayers, Lynda :)
Psalm 37:4

Offline Melissa

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2015, 10:14:51 PM »
Oh Melissa, I know what you mean when you say you wish your friends would call or say "let's go out/get together."  It would be SO nice!
Yeah I mean, like I said, I don't mind organizing things but I just often feel like I'm forgotten about unless I force myself on them. It's a crummy feeling.

Offline galaxy

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2015, 10:18:54 PM »
I deal with loneliness at times too.  I used to go to visit my mom (& dad when he was alive) during summer vacations, but for the past few years haven't been able to go see them, due to my elderly mom being unable to bring me down (I don't have a car) because her truck is too old.  The last time I was there was for my dad's funeral last year.  So the past few vacations have been more like stay-cations, tho I wish they weren't. 

I also have to force myself to get up and DO things on weekends & vacations, since when I'm at work I often think "I'm going to get some of my doll projects done," or "I'm going to do some de-cluttering" and when the weekends or vacations come, I usually end up sitting & watching TV or going on the internet. 

For these reasons, I'm glad I did finally join a bowling league, since it gets me out of the house and having fun.  :)  Now if I could just get up the motivation to do some other things....

Haha. I get you and the "I'll do this during the weekend!" and it not happening.

I do somewhat understand how you feel. I *am* really outgoing and not shy at all but at the same time, I have a hard time with friendships. My husband is pretty much my rock and my main friend. Because I moved 1500 miles away from my friends/family to be with him, I pretty much had to start over socially and it has not been easy. I have acquaintances here, but I wouldn't really call them friends because we don't really hang out unless I initiate it. And I don't even mind doing that but it would be nice to occasionally have someone call ME and be like "Hey let's get lunch/go to a movie/run to Target" but that doesn't happen. Ever. Probably why I'm around here so much, hahaha!

My suggestion is find some kind of activity that gets you off the computer... Rehairing would be good like you mentioned, or even something as simple as reading, drawing, going for a walk... Those are the things that help me when I feel lonely. If I sit at the computer all day I tend to get more wallow-y.

Aww Melissa! It would be really cool to go shopping together! Or like some of the Arena members as a group. Lol. I understand you. Even after posting this, I wasn't cheered up a lot. Thank you both. :)

Offline xxnickiyxx

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2015, 05:41:39 AM »
Hello,

I've been home schooled for quite a while, and I'm not going through a very good time atm. But I just want to pop in to remind you that there's a huge difference between 'wanting to be alone' and 'being lonely'

Lets say about 3 years ago I got dumped by the only friends i had, so basically my whole world collapsed. I became home schooled and barely went out. But in that time I got to meet a friend online whom I still speak daily.
Even now I still don't like going out. If too many things happen around me I get very stressy, so if anyone would ask me I'd forever prefer to stay indoors. But I don't think it's bad. I tend to spend all my time on cosplaying and sewing, I talk with a bunch of people online, but if I have too I'll go outside on my own. I don't feel lonely though. I'm just one of those people who prefer being in their safe-space than being extremely outgoing. And the one thing I learned is that it's better to have 2 friends you can talk with on a daily base than having 100 friends that you just say Hi too.

I'm online almost all the time, so if you ever want to chat just send me a message!

Offline Zapper

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2015, 07:21:55 AM »
I think you are underestimating your abilities. If you want to get into music - get into music! :)
I've always been a very musical person, learning many instruments at once and then suddenly giving up on all of them because I couldn't 'master' them. A few years later I picked up my electric guitar and only concentrated on that. I got a cheap "guitar for dummies" DVD that taught me more than my overbearing guitar teacher ever could. It was more fun to discover things on my own and I remembered them better. If you have a passion for something - just try it and work on it.
Especially when it comes to music. It can be frustrating to practice, but you will get better and better and have more fun as you go along! Give yourself a chance :)

I'm not sure if I am an extrovert or introvert. I'm so moody, there are days/weeks where I love to be all on my own and do things just for myself and then there are days were I need to spend time with friends or just call my parents. I often deal with the lonliness vs. being alone thing. I know you said you're shy, but you can always PM me and just talk about whatever with me.
Just don't ask me about rerooting because I don't know anything about that XD
« Last Edit: May 03, 2015, 07:23:31 AM by Zapper »
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Offline Morieris

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2015, 04:26:21 PM »
I moved here about four years ago right out of high school and haven't really made an in real life friend, so loneliness is just something i'm used to. It hurts but...you get used to it.  If I wasn't forced into a school setting (like K-12 setting) I wouldn't talk to people in public. Even in college I mostly avoid people after realizing how generally -ist and -phobic so many people are.

You can talk to me :D
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Offline galaxy

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2015, 05:07:15 PM »
Thanks all for the positive responce. I hope to talk to all of you soon. I might start playing with a keyboard that was given to me... Thank you all. ^_^

Offline Shahaila

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Re: Dealing with loneliness
« Reply #13 on: May 21, 2015, 12:13:39 PM »
Hey Galaxy  :hug:, sorry to hear you are feeling the empty loneliness feeling.  I know the feeling and it is just blah.  Melissa I can also relate to what you said, I can coordinate things and people enjoy participating but it really is nice for someone to invite you to do things in return.  Music is very healing, if you are interested you should really take Zapper's advice and go for it.  I know I am at my happiest when engaging in creative activities (painting, drawing, sewing for doll photo shoots, editing photos, etc.).  My puppy (5 year old ShihTzu) Lilli is my real inspiration and motivation, her excitement in seeing me and being with me, and gazing into her big beautiful brown eyes seems to just make all the loneliness go away.  She is what really keeps me going, I love taking care of her, taking her for walks, and just watching her experience the world.  Pets are a huge responsibility but if you have the financial resources to maintain one, and the devotion to train and care for them, they are amazing companions.
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