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Author Topic: Advice Requested  (Read 545 times)

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Offline Majesty

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Advice Requested
« on: September 05, 2017, 05:44:02 PM »
I'm not sure what to do.  A couple of months ago I decided I had had enough and actually threw away all my Monster High dolls.  I really regret that now.  I didn't really have too many compared to other collectors but my bureau wasn't big enough to properly display all the dolls I had without it looking overly crowded.  I started to almost feel claustrophobic.  I had given about 15 dolls to my niece which were a mix of Ever After High and Monster High to downsize.  I had less dolls and for a while they were reasonably display but still overcrowded.  This had nothing to do with the reboot, because I've accepted the reboot and the new look of Monster High but I prefer the original MH look.  I was going to save a few but my thought was why am I saving them?  Just to for the sake of saving them?!  I decided I should just get rid of them all and get it over with but I was really sad about it.  I know I could have put them up for sale, but then I'd have to properly price each one by their true value, pack them up, get them to the post office.  I don't drive so I'm certain my parents wouldn't have brought me to the post office every time I wanted to ship out a doll.

My Mom kept getting in my case about my dolls, how I was wasting my money, how I could use the money for other things, how the money I spent on the dolls could have gone into my savings, etc.  What I had had accumulated over several years, I didn't buy them at once.

Like most people, even though I work at McDonald's I work hard at my job. I deposit something just about every week unless there are plans to do something or I need things.  On average I make about $200 a week or less depending on if my hours got cut, because of labor or something.  I lived in a city where on my days off I could take the city bus to the local mall or go to the dead mall which was connected to a Walmart or walk a little ways and go to Toys R Us.  It was very fun for me to go on an outing and buy a doll which I felt I earned.

My parents moved and since I can't afford to move out I went with them.  I'm 33 but I pay a small amount of room and board of $30 a week and on my days off I do laundry, dishes, take out garbage or recycling and things like that to help out.

I did save my twin MH bedding set I bought a while back.  I have most of the Welcome To Monster High dolls,
and I have the two pack with Draculaura and Moanica and I have three of the Electrified dolls.  I know I don't have as much as other people and I didn't plan on overfilling my room again with Monster High dolls but I miss having some of the original line in my room.  My Mom told me if I buy anymore MH dolls she's kicking me out.  I know she probably said that out of anger but I don't want to test that out.  I am tired of getting yelled at by her and having nobody to defend me.  I feel like I don't get respected enough in this situation.

I was thinking about buying one or two of the older line just to have something but I wasn't sure who to get.
I was looking on amazon and the signature dolls I had are around $50 each.  I had all of the original 6 except Lagoona and Ghoulia, obviously because of the price they are now.  I thought about getting the 6-pack with the original 6 ghouls but they don't come with stands.  I've bought stands on amazon before, I get a pack of 10 or 12 really cheap.  They are meant for barbie dolls but if you squeeze the part that goes into their hips together they don't fall out.  The only doll I don't like from that 6-pack is Draculaura.  I like her original version better, I feel like her version in that remake is cheaply made, at least her outfit is.

I was going to get Boo York Nefera and I feel like if I got any of the original-6 I'd want all of them not just one.

On amazon the original 6-pack is around $80 but the sellers don't even reach 93% on most and I'd rather do 97% or 98% for the lowest.  Also, people are claiming certain dolls are the signature ones and people buy the ones which are in the pictures amazon shows but the customers get a signature remake instead, not the one pictured.

I pretty much use amazon for all my purchases now since I very rarely get to go to Walmart or Target and I don't want anymore dolls from the new line anyway.  I try to make sure if I order MH dolls they come on the day off I have during the week which recently has been Wednesdays.  I get nervous though, because lots of times it'll say arriving on Wednesday then they decide it's going to arrive early and a box is on the doorstep and I get mad parents asking what I ordered now.  Yeah I can lie but I'm a bad liar, it shows on my face and she usually wants to see what's in the box, not out of curiosity but to be a nagging Mom and find something to yell at me for.

Sorry this was long but I have a lot going on in my head and I needed to get it out.  Should I just stick with the dolls I have?  Should I just get one or two dolls?  If so which ones should I get?  I have so many dolls I'd like to get but ever since G2 MH people on amazon raised the selling prices because the G1 dolls aren't in stores anymore so they're all considered rare and hard to find.

If you read all this thanks for reading, but I understand if it was just skimmed.  :blush:


moving this topic to Zombie Zone since you are seeking personal advice and not really discussing Monster High - Melissa, Monster Discussion mod
« Last Edit: September 06, 2017, 02:12:48 PM by Melissa »

Offline Lhianneth

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2017, 05:52:30 PM »
I think if you're having trouble with your relationship with your mother, that you should hold off on buying anymore. Yes, you're an adult. Yes, it's your money. But you currently live with your folks and should respect their feelings on the subject. OR. Talk to them about your feelings and try to help them understand that the dolls serve a function in your life beyond just "wasting money".

I've been in a similar situation, when I had to live at home with my parents for work, or when I lived at home to help take care of Mom, and it's hard. Being an adult in your parents' home leads to a lot of complex feelings on both sides, and can lead to some serious conflicts if you're not careful.

So my advice in a nutshell:
Hold off buying more dolls, even if your mother's remark was only made in anger and not in earnest.
Talk to your parents, and work on that relationship before buying new items. It's possible that retail therapy will make you feel better in the short term, but if your parents don't understand the function of those purchases, it could lead to long-term conflict.

Offline roseprincess1

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2017, 06:48:38 PM »
I wish i could give you some good advice on this mag'.
but anything i say is going to come off as snarky and probably get you into trouble with your folks.
Honestly.. after i get my  MC2 mermaid bryden.. im probably going to stop buying dolls and focus on the things i need
to display them and make them look good..
IE : New shelving... stands... ect.. So i am cutting back my self.
But in the past i have had my parents  use my collections as a weapon to put me in my place.
The best advice i can give you is the same that Linne did.
Just hold off on them for now... its easier than putting up with snippy parents..
I admit now that i have my own space i went a lil nuts ... but there were so many good sales and the only ones ive paid
full price for in the last year were my  MC2 fantasy girls.
But i full well remember the parental units rants on my wasting money and such (tho in my mums case it was  a wee bit hippocritical.. speically after i found HER ring collection. OMG!!)
Still parents will do what they think is best and chances are your never going to really be an adult to them until you no longer co habitate.
so yah.. its best now to hold off for a while.
I know you went through it with your dolls and i long suspected your "falling out of love"with them was due to parental nagging.
I think maybe you should focus on some other thing that makes you happy for a while. are you a tea nut ? a bath and body works junkie like me?
Take the money youd spend on the dolls and get some other kinda of goodie you like
Or order some books or something else.. go to the spa and get yer nails done.
The fact of the matter is.. parents will whine about money.. even parents that had over 100,000.00 in the bank whined about money in my case.
If dolls get on their nerves but you need something to calm your nerves find something else, or not even spending money... go out and enjoy the sunshine. Walk, paint, get yer nails done. Go waste a day in the park reading. or something
I think in time the doll issue will be forgotten and you can buy them again.
Or if all else fails.. get a po box.
they are cheep.. and most importantly they are PRIVATE.
any how i hope the ill wind blows over soon!
love ya.
RP.

Offline dxgirly

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2017, 07:30:05 PM »
I think if you're having trouble with your relationship with your mother, that you should hold off on buying anymore. Yes, you're an adult. Yes, it's your money. But you currently live with your folks and should respect their feelings on the subject. OR. Talk to them about your feelings and try to help them understand that the dolls serve a function in your life beyond just "wasting money".

I've been in a similar situation, when I had to live at home with my parents for work, or when I lived at home to help take care of Mom, and it's hard. Being an adult in your parents' home leads to a lot of complex feelings on both sides, and can lead to some serious conflicts if you're not careful.

So my advice in a nutshell:
Hold off buying more dolls, even if your mother's remark was only made in anger and not in earnest.
Talk to your parents, and work on that relationship before buying new items. It's possible that retail therapy will make you feel better in the short term, but if your parents don't understand the function of those purchases, it could lead to long-term conflict.


Agreed 100%

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Offline modernmonsterhigh

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2017, 11:26:19 PM »
I can totally relate. I've seen so many good deals and I've got a few first and second waves for less than they originally sold for.. my mom gets so mad that it's every week I'm spending money. I got so mad at myself for not buying the werecat twins first waves for $19 that I told myself I'm not going to lose a deal like that EVER again no matter what. I'm trying to tell myself that I still got abbey for $10 boxed and I should let others get the rare dolls too. Anyways, if your parents are that mad try taking them out for lunch or something they like to do. I give my mom a foot massage every time I buy something and it works as weird as it sounds :P Anyways, I hope your situation goes well. I'm trying to get myself to save and every time I want to buy a doll I just go to Lush and buy some jiggly face masks :bateyes:
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Offline Majesty

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2017, 06:47:02 AM »
I see what you guys are saying.  It just frustrates me beyond words that I can't spend my money I how I want.  I mean, I didn't intend to get a whole lot of G1 MH dolls just one or two.  But, doing that is a big risk in getting my Mom mad, I realize that.  I've subscribed to several people on youtube who collect MH and other things and their parents collect right along with them and I envy that so much.

Offline taffeta

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2017, 07:42:21 AM »
The only advice I would have on this would be to echo other people. Don't buy dolls online, don't have dolls coming in the post for now, and obviously keep putting money from your job into your bank as you are now.

I suggest that when you do start buying dolls, you thrift for dolls instead, if and when the opportunity arises. MH is likely to be around at second hand sales, garage sales, flea markets, thrift stores etc and your parents might have less issue with you spending a dollar or two here and there rather than lots of money. I also agree to talk to them about it and come to some kind of agreement about what to do. Maybe offer to increase the money you give towards the house and in return have a doll budget to spend on small items every so often.

Yes, you're an adult, it's your money. But you do live at home so there's probably a compromise that needs to happen.

My collections also live with my parents most of the time while I am in London, but I haven't ever had the situation whereby they've given me ultimatums about it so I can't relate on those grounds and can't be more helpful. Just if space is at a premium maybe consider that. Also maybe identify specific dolls you want to bring home if you find them (second hand thrifting for dolls is fun).

I actually wonder whether your folks would have helped you if you had sold your dolls and made some money from them and that is an option you should consider if you get rid of any more in the future, just so that they can see they are making some kind of positive profit in your life if you get rid of some, rather than just things that take up space. It sounds weird but sometimes people who don't collect only understand that something is worthwhile if some money can be made from them :/
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Offline modernmonsterhigh

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2017, 03:34:52 PM »
I barely find any monster high dolls at my thrift stores. Just some naked kens and shirt-molded barbies.. my mom HATES thrift stores too :p I'd say get a P.O box that way your parents won't know. I also suggest you buy only the dolls you want for now. At least until your parents understand. I'm really picky with buying dolls :p they need to have something I LOVE or adore. like with howleen: a sassy fierce style all in a little tough wolf cx :howl:
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Offline dxgirly

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2017, 03:38:39 PM »
I would be very careful with the PO Box thing. If they somehow find out about it, it may cause a larger conflict than dolls just showing up at the house would...

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Offline Lhianneth

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2017, 07:21:23 PM »
I definitely agree that getting a PO box is the wrong move. Sneaking around behind your parents' back isn't exactly a good idea, whether you're a teen at home or an adult.

I really do think you should talk to your parents more directly about your emotions on this one. It can be hard, but that's a part of getting your parents' respect as a grown child. ;)

Wishing you luck! I hope they'll understand how you feel. If you decide to talk to them, and need advice on how to get the discussion under way, I'm sure the MHA family would be happy to help out. We all know just how important these things are, after all.

Offline Majesty

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2017, 03:12:51 AM »
I don't drive, so I can't get a PO box anyway, thanks everyone for your advice I really appreciate it.

Offline Majesty

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #11 on: September 08, 2017, 03:05:46 PM »
Update:  So, I asked my Dad yesterday if I could get a few more Monster High dolls, the older ones as I called it and he said he wasn't going to be a part of it.  Meaning, he wasn't going to take sides and that I would have to ask my Mom.  I waited until she got home and I figured she'd say no.  She kept telling me I need to focus on saving my money but she didn't give me a straight answer.  I figured I needed one so if I decided to buy the dolls she couldn't say "well I never said you could".  I finally got a yes out of her, but told her I'd only buy a few.

I ended up spending a bit of money on amazon and bought G1 signature Nefera (again) and I bought the two pack with Deuce and Cleo from wave one.  I wanted those very much and I figured if I was going to get only a few I should get the ones I really wanted.  So far, nobody has asked me how much I spent.  :P

Offline roseprincess1

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2017, 05:48:10 AM »
glad you got a straight answer!
Glad they said yes! I still advise being conservative but glad you get to get some of what cha love!

Offline brightberry

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2017, 08:53:23 AM »
I'm glad that she agreed on a few.   One of the things I do when I can't afford all the things or don't want to fill my space up with stuff is to collect images of them instead.  Then, make a private diary describing each of them.  Or, when toy shopping, I take pictures.  It helps me, maybe it will help you?

Offline heftysmurf76

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #14 on: September 13, 2017, 10:43:03 PM »
I saw your update and am glad to see your mom agreed to "let" you have a few, but I have to personally DISagree with others here. I am 41 years old and I live at home, mainly because I am disabled, but I am also helping my parents financially currently, they NEED the money I pay in rent, and so my point is, i PAY rent, so MY ROOM is MINE to do with as I wish.

My stepfather has commented several times on my dolls and ponies and I have learned after several years of dealing with him, just to ignore him, its my money and he doesn't have control over that and he doesn't like it, well tough flip!, when he deposits the checks into my account he can say what he wants, until then he needs to shut up! and I have more or less expressed that.

I worked hard(went to college got a good job with the state) to get to a  place where I could be financially stable, when I did have to stop working because of my disability I had EARNED that right to that money I am paid every month, and in the same way YOU earn your money and it is yours to do with as you please , especially if you have never paid your parents late, or other bills late and its not affecting anything, then no one has the right to tell you not to buy something that makes you happy!

 i'm glad you got the older dolls you wanted, I hope you get more! and more and MORE!!! And display them as you wish in YOUR living space, and if your mother doesn't like it tell her not to look at it or put it out of her mind and mind her fliping business!!!!

That's my .02 and I'm sticking to it! No offense meant in disagreeing with others, not trying t stir anything up, but obviously I feel very strongly on this topic if I took the time to write such a lengthy reply :D

Offline dxgirly

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2017, 11:03:09 PM »
I think the big difference, Topher, is that Majesty is paying $30 a week (or roughly $120 a month) in rent, so her situation is most likely different than yours, in that her parents *probably* don't need that financial support in order to get by, as yours do. (This is just something I am going to assume, knowing how far $120 goes in my own personal monthly household budget.) And because that need isn't there for her parents (again, I'm assuming, but you get my gist) she is in a far more precarious position than you are in your house. I know, personally, I've been thrown out of my parents' for less.

So just my opinion, I would still tread waters lightly with them when it comes to buying new dolls. You have to take in account the actual possibility of being thrown out of your parents house over this, and having to find somewhere to live for your $800 a month salary, plus feed and clothe yourself.

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Offline heftysmurf76

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2017, 11:42:13 PM »
I think the big difference, Topher, is that Majesty is paying $30 a week (or roughly $120 a month) in rent, so her situation is most likely different than yours, in that her parents *probably* don't need that financial support in order to get by, as yours do. (This is just something I am going to assume, knowing how far $120 goes in my own personal monthly household budget.) And because that need isn't there for her parents (again, I'm assuming, but you get my gist) she is in a far more precarious position than you are in your house. I know, personally, I've been thrown out of my parents' for less.
Hmmmmmmmmm, well I see your point about being thrown out, but tbh if they're treating her this way, I still feel she needs to stick up for herself at least somewhat. I can see treading lightly though, that does make sense, but honestly if she's paying money to stay there, then she does have some rights IMHO...
Quote
So just my opinion, I would still tread waters lightly with them when it comes to buying new dolls. You have to take in account the actual possibility of being thrown out of your parents house over this, and having to find somewhere to live for your $800 a month salary, plus feed and clothe yourself.
Agreed though, would not want her to get thrown out over this, but does that seem to be the case? from what she has said I don't see her mother throwing her out if she stood up to her, but perhaps I am wrong...I dunno...I just hate to see Majesty treated this way, it seems so wrong, especially if she is being responsible and earning a living. I cant speak to the finances because 800$ to live on would be rough but, at the same time, I'd just have a hard time not sticking up for myself

Offline dxgirly

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2017, 11:51:55 PM »
I understand. And in my opinion she SHOULD be able to have dolls, (anyone should have that right) regardless of what her parents think, but I also think it's not something worth getting thrown out for, you know?

In her original post, Majesty said:

My Mom told me if I buy anymore MH dolls she's kicking me out.  I know she probably said that out of anger but I don't want to test that out.


Either way, it seems she and her mum have come to the agreement that she can have a few dolls. So I am glad for that. <3 I love dolls with everything that I am, but they're not worth getting thrown out onto the streets for. lol

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2017, 11:57:42 PM »
I understand. And in my opinion she SHOULD be able to have dolls, (anyone should have that right) regardless of what her parents think, but I also think it's not something worth getting thrown out for, you know?
Yes very true, definitely not worth getting kicked out over...
Quote
In her original post, Majesty said:

My Mom told me if I buy anymore MH dolls she's kicking me out.  I know she probably said that out of anger but I don't want to test that out.


Oh ok, I missed that, i will admit I skimmed at some points, but when I saw the updates I assumed things had been hashed out too
Quote
Either way, it seems she and her mum have come to the agreement that she can have a few dolls. So I am glad for that. <3 I love dolls with everything that I am, but they're not worth getting thrown out onto the streets for. lol
yes lets be glad she can buy more.I think she's earned the right to like I said. But I do see your point that its definetly not worth getting kicked out over. IMHO I'd not want to live where there were no dolls/toys allowed though but I'm not in that situation to judge for sure what I would do...

Offline Wardah

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Re: Advice Requested
« Reply #19 on: October 03, 2017, 05:41:28 PM »
You have mentioned you are disabled so why haven't you looked into disabled housing? It might take a while to get a place once you are on the list but it would be your own place that you can afford and they are often accessible by the ripta. My friend who is legally blind lives in one and she loves it even tho it took her 4 years to get in.
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