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Author Topic: My Grammy is Dying  (Read 187 times)

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Offline dxgirly

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My Grammy is Dying
« on: December 15, 2016, 10:03:10 PM »
My dad got a call today, and my Grammy is dying, and the doctors say she has 1-2 days to live. She had an awful struggle with Alzehiemers for a long time know, and in the past year and half, it has gotten really bad, and just has been getting continually worse and worse. She and my Papa are currently living in Florida (we're all from Massachusetts) and she became so combative that my Papa was forced to put her in facility, because he just couldn't take care of her anymore, and neither could the visiting nurse that they had hired. I don't know or understand exactly what she dying from at this point, but I honestly don't even really want to know. My family has been preparing for this for a long time, but we were all hoping that she would at least be with us through Christmas. She is in a lot pain now, so they have on morphine every hour now to try to make her comfortable. I know it sounds completely awful to say, but I hope she goes quickly and without much pain. It hurts so much to know she is like this now. My parents went down a few months ago to visit and help my papa out, before she had been moved to the home, and she was so far gone, that she didn't remember who my dad was. I think that broke his heart. He was crying tonight and said that is the last memory he will have of her, and I just feel so badly for him, my papa, and my aunts and uncles. I can count on one hand how many times I've seen my dad cry, and it just hurts my heart to see him in such pain. He's not one to express his feelings, so I can't really talk about it with him, and I don't want to make him feel any worse, so I'm really just at loss as to what to do...
« Last Edit: December 15, 2016, 10:15:35 PM by dxgirly »

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Offline SaelaVe

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2016, 10:32:03 PM »
Nikki, I am so, so sorry.  My heart goes out to you.
I have lost three of my grandparents—one to Alzheimer's.  It is always extremely difficult and painful.
I would like to say more to comfort you right now, but I'm afraid that nothing that I could possibly say would suffice.

Know that all of us here love you tremendously.  You'll be in our thoughts and prayers this week; and if you need anyone to talk to, we'll be here for you. *big hug*

Offline Razena

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2016, 10:43:13 PM »
 :hug: <- Have another hug.   I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this.  And I don't think it sounds awful to hope that she passes quickly so she's no longer in pain, so don't feel guilty about wishing that.

Offline SaelaVe

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2016, 10:57:11 PM »
And I don't think it sounds awful to hope that she passes quickly so she's no longer in pain, so don't feel guilty about wishing that.

Absolutely.  You feel that way because you love your grandmother dearly and don't want her to suffer anymore.  Do not feel badly about that.  I think that any of us in that situation would want the exact same thing for our loved ones.

Offline Flutterswirl

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2016, 10:27:41 AM »
{{{dxgirly}}}
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Offline Wuvmykitties

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2016, 12:14:17 PM »
 :hug: :hug:
Big hugs to you...

I lost my dad to Alzheimer's in 2014, so I know what you're going thru. If she's in pain, they can give her something to ease it and make her last hours easier. 

It is so sad to watch them lose their memories.  My dad got to the point he didn't know any of us and when mom showed him a pic of his family said "you've got a nice family." :( 

I pray that your grammy passes peacefully.

My condolences to you sweetie. Love you.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2016, 12:16:59 PM by Wuvmykitties »
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Offline bewilderness

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2016, 02:13:46 PM »
I'm so sorry, Nikki.  *hugs*
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Offline dxgirly

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2016, 10:28:01 PM »
Thanks everyone. Still no further news or an update on the situation, and I can't decide if that's a good or bad thing. :(  I really just want her to go quickly and in peace, because there is no chance for any sort of recovery at this point. :(  But again, I feel really guilty and bad for feeling that way...

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Offline darkcatra25

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2016, 12:22:21 AM »
I'm so sorry Nikki, it's never easy going through something like this. Sending hugs to you.

Offline respositob

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2016, 06:20:12 AM »
I'm so sorry that your family is going through this. I'll pray for you and your Grammy. <3

Offline dxgirly

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2016, 11:09:25 AM »
She passed about an hour ago. Thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers, everyone.

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Offline BlueChaos

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2016, 07:43:45 PM »
Hugs to you and yours

Offline beautiful_monster

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #12 on: December 17, 2016, 09:05:21 PM »
I am so very sorry to hear all of this. My heart goes out to you and yours in this difficult time.

Offline Majesty

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #13 on: February 01, 2017, 06:20:05 PM »
Aww, I'm sorry.  :hugs:  My Papa died over the summer last year.  He went downhill very fast and it was a combination of different things which caused his passing.  Luckily we had a little bit of time to visit him in the rehab center before he died.  My Nana has dimentia, I think she's in the early or mid stages of that but as far as I know she's healthy.  My Pepe died when I think I was 9 or 10 and my Meme died a few months before I was born so my Nana is my last grandparent.  That's really weird and sad to think about.

If you can't make it to see her before she dies maybe you can skype or talk on the phone with her.  I didn't want to see my Papa at first when he was on hospice at the rehab center, because I did that with my Pepe and it's hard watching someone die or decline but afterwards I felt better that I was there.  I visited him a few times before he passed but I wasn't there the day he passed.  I felt selfish not being there the day he died but I didn't want to remember him like that.  My Dad understood of course and I cherish the time I did spend with him.

It's getting harder and harder for me to remember what he sounded like before his speech became slurred and you couldn't understand him.

If you can what might help is if you remember the good and happy times you had with her. :)

Edit:  Sorry I didn't read far enough ahead to see she already passed.  Sorry for your loss.  :(

Offline dxgirly

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #14 on: February 01, 2017, 06:45:59 PM »
Thank you. My uncle on my mum's side also passed last Wednesday, so it's been a really rough month for us.

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Offline neon_jellyfish

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Re: My Grammy is Dying
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2017, 04:15:51 PM »
I wanted to say something super cheerful, but nothing comes to mind. You're in my thoughts!
 :hugs: